Annoying Claude Faustus
by Shadow Fox 2013
Summary: Hello again! I've been re-watching Black Butler 2 and decided to annoy Claude ;) Anyways, ClaudexOC in the last chapter
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! I've been re-watching Black Butler, and I think Claude is hot, Alois is a brat, but his butler (and the triplets) are hot! Anywhos, I wanted to annoy him!**

**Grell: Ooh, will there be smut? **

**Shadow: It's me we're talking about, what do you think? -.-"**

**Grell: Yes! Shadow Fox 2013 does not own Black Butler, but she does own April!**

* * *

I sighed, very bored. Shrugging, I went to the triplets while they were on break,

"Hey guys!" I smiled. They nodded back,

"What's up Miss April?" Timber asked. I shrugged,

"I'm bored." They all blinked,

"Why don't you go ask Claude what to do then?" Thompson asked. I smiled brightly,

"Good idea! Thanks guys!" I called over my shoulder, running to go see the demon.

0*0*0*0

"Hey Claude!" I grinned at the taller man. He glanced at me before going back to his cooking,

"Miss April, what do you need?" I pouted,

"I'm bored, I asked the triplets what to do, but they said ask you!" He sighed,

"I have nothing for you to do, if you'll excuse me now." I frowned as he left,

"Meanie. Wait," I grinned evilly, "I'll just bother him and see what happens!"


	2. Glasses Thief

**Hello again! Here is the first way to annoy our dear spider ^.~**

* * *

**1. Steal his glasses**

I smirked as I quickly swiped Claude's glasses from the small table with the vase he left them on before scurrying back to where the triplets were keeping look-out. I held them up,

"Got them, let's go before he sees us," I whispered, taking Canterbury's hand as they used their demonic speed to get us to the garden. We all smirked as we began our chores once more.

**With Claude**

"Hm, I put them right here," he thought aloud, looking for his glasses. Alois passed by and looked at him,

"Claude? What are you doing?" Claude was under the tiny table, (so imagine a six foot man under a three foot table… yeah.)

"Ah Highness, I'm looking for my glasses, I seem to have misplaced them," he replied in monotone. The blonde boy smirked,

"I'd go check on April, she went to the garden with the triplets and was laughing," he stated, going back to trying to find/torture Hannah. Claude nodded, whooshing out to the garden and looking at April,

"Miss April, have you seen my glasses?" the man asked, his eyes narrowing when amusement shone in her purple eyes,

"No sir mister Faustus." He sighed irritably and lightly grabbed her forearm, dragging her inside and into an empty hallway, holding a hand out,

"Glasses." She smirked, pulling his glasses out of her apron,

"Of course," she then muttered, "don't want you searching for them on me." He smirked and turned around,

"That's it; you may go back to work." April glared at his back before a new plan formed in her head,

"Of course, _Mister Faustus." _

**Extended Ending**

Alois frowned when he saw Claude with his glasses once more,

'_Darn… he looks sexy without them.'_

* * *

**Alois, you booty short wearing freak! BACK OFF! ~hehe~ Naw i'm not the possessive type, Alois just annoys me :)**


	3. Love Child

**2. Tell Claude he looks like he's the child of Sebastian Michaelis and William T. Spears**

***From now on, it's a third person POV!***

"Hey Claude?" April asked. He looked over at her,

"Hm?" She looked him over once more,

"You know, you kind of look like that Shinigami William T. Spears and Sebastian's love child." He stared at her for about three minutes before slapping his palm onto his face,

"April," he said in monotone, a slight hint of warning in his voice. She acted innocent as she set a hand on his shoulder,

"Oh, no wonder you hate him so much." His amber eyes hardened as they locked on her face,

"Get out," he hissed. She smiled, nuzzling her cheek on his arm,

"If you ever want to talk I'm here," she cooed, giggling at his reaction before sprinting out. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, how did a _human _of all things be so bold to a demon like him? He shook his head before putting his emotionless mask back in place, what an odd human girl.

**Extended ending**

**With Sebastian and William**

"Oh dear," the butler chuckled, "It seems as though the human girl has caught on." William glared,

"I blame you, I was drunk and have absolutely no memory of that." Sebastian smirked and leaned to whisper in his ear,

"Sure you don't."

* * *

**Grell: *has a nosebleed* NO MY DARLING BASSY! AND WILL TOO! WHY DIDNT YOU INVITE ME!?**

**Shadow: O.o Um... okay then**


	4. Silverware Hurts

**3. Throw his silverware at him**

April watched with interest as Sebastian and Claude fought by throwing knives at each other. She turned to Ciel and Alois,

"Would you two like anything?" she asked quietly. Ciel shook his head along with Alois, causing her to shrug and turn back to the fight.

0*0*0*0*0

"Hello mister Michaelis!" April smiled as she skipped over with the two earls in tow. The crow demon bowed,

"Miss April," he nodded. She turned to Claude and let a small glare slip onto her face,

"We're going to have to pick this up," she stated, hearing Alois comment about the holes. The man shrugged,

"We'll get it done quickly." She sighed, rolling her eyes and beginning to pull golden and silver utensils from the walls and the wood of the manor. Claude followed her, fixing all of the holes and replacing the broken items.

"Hey Claude?" she asked. He looked over at her, she was on the very tip of her toes reaching for a knife, "Can you teach me how to fight with silverware?" she asked. He blinked,

"No." she paused in her actions, glaring at him,

"Why not?" He resisted rolling his eyes,

"Why should I?" he countered, "you don't even fight." She sighed, giving one last yank, making the knife fly out and embed itself into Claude's forehead. She looked at him, smiling sheepishly,

"Oops… sorry?" she held in her giggles at his straight face before bursting out laughing, "I'm sorry Claude, but you look so funny with a knife in your forehead while keeping your poker face!" she grinned, wiping her damp eyes and continuing to take out the silverware. "Hey, I learned how to use it as a weapon," she joked, winking at him.

**Extended ending**

Sebastian chuckled as the spider demon glared at him,

"My, my, you got attacked by a human woman," he stated, amusement shining in his crimson eyes. Claude growled,

"Shut up Michaelis."

* * *

***laughs* Man I like April, she's one of my awesomest OCs ever (that I own of course)**

**Grell: Yay Bassy was in this chapter too!**


	5. Itsy-Bitsy Spider

**5. Follow Claude around and sing 'The Itsy Bitsy Spider'.**

April smirked as she followed Claude around; it was raining, so she couldn't work in the gardens like she normally does. She decided to make the walk interesting by singing a song her mother used to sing during the rain,

_"The itsy-bitsy spider  
Climbed up the water spout  
Down came the rain  
And washed the spider out  
Out came the sun  
And dried up all the rain  
And the itsy-bitsy spider  
Climbed up the spout again" _she sang softly, her voice carrying to the demon's sensitive hearing. He tensed at the song, knowing she was trying to irritate him. She grinned as a tick mark appeared on the back of his head, so she sang a bit louder. When she was done she smirked,

"Oh dear, sorry Claude, I hope my song didn't distract you." He turned and glared at her as she hummed the song, occasionally singing the words as she helped with the dishes, "_Out came the sun and dried up all the rain and the itsy-bitsy spider~ went up the spout again."_

**Extended ending**

"Hey Claude?" Alois asked. Claude looked over,

"Hm?" the blonde grinned and pointed outside,

"The sun's out!" This earned a twitch from the tall butler,

"Joy."

* * *

**I wonder if I spray him with bug spray, if it hurts...**


	6. Your Catchphrase Sucks

**6. Tell Claude his catchphrase sucks.**

April rolled her eyes when Claude did his whole 'navy into blah, blah, blah.'

"You know Claude, your catchphrase sucks," she said bluntly, "Sebastian's is much better. It's the same every time," she muttered. He stared at her with hard eyes before going back to work, wondering why he hadn't killed the girl yet. She continued, "Maybe I should ask the midget lord what you should change it to," she mused, talking about Alois. She grinned over at him, "Or we can ask Sebastian himself." He ignored her, causing her to pout, "Fine, keep your crappy catchphrase," she mumbled.

**Extended ending**

April asked the triplets what they thought of the dark butler's catchphrase.

"His catchphrase?" Timber asked. She nodded as they thought about it,

"It's not consistent," Thomas piped up. The others nodded,

"Yeah, it changes every time," Canterbury agreed. April nodded,

"I know right!?"

* * *

**Claude's hot and all, but his catchphrase sucks -.-" He needs pointers from Sebas-Chan! **


	7. Stem Tying

**7. Try to tie a cherry stem with your tongue, if he asks about it, improvise ^.~**

April frowned as she stuck her small tongue out, pouting when nothing happened. Claude watched every move her lips and tongue made.

"What are you doing?" he asked boredly. She looked up, still moving her mouth,

"I'm trying to tie a knot," she stated, grinning a bit when his eyes wandered back to her lips, "Care to help?" she asked. He blinked in surprise, tilting his head a bit,

"Help?" his mind thought of many ways he could _'help' _but was brought out of it when she laughed, handing him a bowl of cherries,

"Of course," she looked at him slyly, "What kind of help did you think I meant?" she asked. He shook his head and popped one in his mouth, easily tying it in a knot, spitting it out and setting it on the counter. She pouted,

"How'd you do that?" She stuck her tongue out again and tried to tie it, making Claude's eyes roam back to her mouth. He was about to capture it with his own, until she looked up, smirking at his close ranged face, and sticking her tongue out, revealing a tied cherry stem, "Got it," she purred, laughing at his annoyed expression.

**Extended ending**

As Claude picked up the cherry stems, he only saw one tied one. His eyes narrowed at the trick, she used his own tied stem to get out of it! Said girl smirked over at him, popping another cherry in her mouth before walking out.

* * *

***giggles* Claude is such a perv X3**


	8. ONWARDS SPIDER!

**8. Keep piggy-backing Claude at random moments of the day (as long as the blonde brat isn't around O.o)**

Claude was calmly walking through the halls when he had an added weight to his back. He looked behind him and saw April's smiling face,

"Onward Claude!" she ordered, giggling a bit. He sighed and brushed her off, setting her on the ground. She pouted before hearing Alois, "Bye Claude!" she grinned, running outside. He sighed again before continuing to walk down the hall.

0*0*0*0*0*

For the third time that day, Claude tried to brush the girl off of him, but she was stubborn, she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck as he walked to the kitchen. She was light, but it was rather annoying for him. He set her down on the counter and went to prepare dinner as she watched with interest as he chopped the vegetables, hopping down and getting out the plates and cleaning the dishes.

0*0*0*0*0

Just as he was finishing up, he twitched when something pounced on him,

"Onward!" a cheery voice ordered.

**Extended ending**

**With the triplets**

The three demons laughed as they watched Claude carrying April around on his back,

"She's a bold human," Canterbury smirked.

"That she is; how is she not dead?" Thompson asked.

"She's got a nice butt," Timber added in helpfully. The other two nodded and watched as the pair disappeared into the kitchen.

* * *

**Im sorry! I couldn't help but make the triplets perverts like they are in the OVA with Hannah's boobs X)**


	9. Pink Pajamas

**9. Make fun of his pink pajamas**

**At Claude's house! (note, this is the 21****st**** century)**

April smiled at Claude,

"Thanks for letting me stay over while my house is being fixed!" He nodded, showing her the guest room before yawning,

"Goodnight." She smiled,

"Night Claude!" She sat on the bed, pulling her baggy shirt and pajama pants on, thinking about her house. She had accidentally set the kitchen on fire when she was cooking and talking to Lizzy on the phone at the same time. She sighed and got into the bed, pulling the covers over her head and falling asleep.

0*0*0*0*

April shot up, gasping for air as she pushed away the nightmare. Standing up and shaking, she slowly walked to Claude's room. Softly knocking, she hoped he didn't sleep naked as she walked in,

"C-Claude?" she asked quietly. The lump on the bed stirred as the man sat up,

"April?" he asked sleepily. She nodded, walking towards him, using the moonlight as her flashlight,

"I had a nightmare, can I sleep in here?" she asked, looking like a child with her small 4'11 stature. He nodded blearily as she climbed in with him, catching a sight of him in the light. "Claude?" she asked quietly.

"Hm?" he hummed. She chuckled and closed her eyes,

"Pink really suits you."

**Extended ending**

April groaned as she woke up on the floor, glaring at the sleeping Claude, who was dancing in his sleep.

* * *

**This is also from the OVA **


	10. Kissing Sebastian and Irritating Claude

**10. Finally, if you were still alive: Kiss Sebastian in front of Claude.**

**Back to the normal timeline**

April shook her head in amusement at the two butler's fight as the two boys went to the study for tea. Sebastian smirked at Claude before walking over to her,

"Miss April, I do believe I have a scratch on my cheek, could you help me clean it?" he asked politely. April nodded, not thinking about his demon-ness and took out a handkerchief, lightly dabbing the bleeding cut on his face, unaware of their closeness. Sebastian smirked and brought her mouth to his, making her gasp and Claude growl. He zipped over and grabbed her, putting her away from the crow's glowing red eyes. Sebastian licked his lips and began walking inside, "She tastes delicious," he murmured to Claude, pissing him off even more. The spider glared at his back before looking at April, who was standing up and beginning to walk inside as well. Claude fell into step with her as she spoke,

"That was weird, I wonder what's up with him," she asked herself quietly. She shrugged and grinned at Claude, "Well, let's get the tea ready, yeah?" He nodded silently, going with her to the kitchen.

0*0*0*0*0*

April frowned as she stood outside Claude's door; he'd been really cold to her since Sebastian kissed her. She took a breath and knocked on the door,

"Claude, are you there?" she asked quietly. The door opened and she was pulled in, then pressed up against to the, now closed, door. She looked up at the glowing eyes of the familiar demon, "Hey, are you okay?" she asked, her violet eyes filled with concern. He pressed her harder to the wood,

"Fine," he growled. She glared,

"Obviously not, and why am I pressed to a door?" she asked, "You've been acting weird since Sebastian kissed me!" she winced when his hands, which were on her hips, tightened, most likely bruising the skin.

"_Don't_ say his name," he snarled. She flinched a bit before meeting his glowing eyes,

"Fine, but tell me what's wrong." He eyed her lips again as she wet them, her tongue barely peeking out. This was his breaking point, he crashed their lips together, making her stiffen in surprise. He ran his tongue along her lips, waiting for her to open, which she did not, making him glare at her. She met his glare with her own. Rolling his eyes he put his glasses in his pocket before connecting their lips once more, yanking on her hair to make her gasp. He deepened the kiss, running his hand along her side as his other hand grabbed her wrists and pinned them to the door as well. She weakly struggled, "Claude," she moaned as he dragged his tongue along her neck, (hehe, giraffe) picking her up easily and throwing her on the bed, pulling his gloves off with his teeth before leaning on top of her,

"You shouldn't tease a demon," he growled. She smirked, still panting as she grabbed his chin,

"I shouldn't do a lot of things," she countered, bringing their lips back together.

0*0*0*0*0*

April clutched the demon's arm to her chest in her sleep as he silently watched her, waiting for the sun to rise so he could wake up Alois. He chuckled; she is a very interesting human indeed. She slowly opened her eyes, looking up at Claude,

"Morning," she yawned before looking at what she was wearing, or rather, what she was _not _wearing. Her eyes widened as her face turned red, "W-What happened?" she asked. He smirked, leaning down and biting her ear,

"What do you think?" he purred. She closed her eyes and landed a solid punch to his bare chest,

"Jack-hole, that's the last time I try to check up on you," she muttered, ignoring his chuckles. He caught her hand and held it to his lips,

"I told you not to tease a demon," he stated. She looked over at him,

"What did I do to tease you?" she asked. He smirked,

"The cherry stems, the riding on my back," he leaned over and nuzzled her neck, "kissing the other vile being." She rolled her eyes and closed them, burying herself back under the covers,

"Okay, okay, I won't annoy you anymore for my own amusement, happy?"

"Amused, yes." His reply was her steady breathing, having already fallen asleep.

* * *

**Okay Grell, here's your smut! :) **

**Grell: *nosebleeds* Oh YES! Could you make this for me and Bassy!? **

**Shadow: Sorry, I don't do yaoi**

**Grell: I am a lady though! It's not yaoi if its a man and a woman *pouts***

**Shadow: Nope, last time I asked William, he said your file specifies your gender; male.**

**Grell: Oh boo :(**


End file.
